Why Are We So Quick To Compare Ourselves To Others?

Every morning when I sip my coffee I take some time alone to scroll through Instagram.

It’s maybe been ten seconds and I find myself scrunching up my nose and whispering, “how does she get her baby to sleep 12 hours every single night!?”

Or, “How in the world does this mom of four look put together every day when as a mom of two, I struggle to just blow dry my hair most days?”

I know I am not alone in this world of comparing and criticizing ourselves.

It’s just human nature.

No matter how much we talk about it though, why is there such a craving to still show only the glamourous on social media?

You never see the dark circles from night time feedings, from bad dreams that meant a night with a shared bed or just from no sleep at all because your mind won’t shut off.

You only see the beautiful hair, not the Ms. Trunchbull buns you know we all rock at least a couple times a week.

The unworthiness and the just not good enough comes on strong, and it lasts long as well.

We are all so unique though, and I think that’s an important thing to remember when you are a woman and a mom.

Sure, the girl you knew in High School might have a fabulous kitchen and the latest home upgrades, but she might not have the awesome cooking skills to utilize that wonderful kitchen like you do.

And yes, the mom who’s baby sleeps 12 hours each night is beyond lucky, but she also doesn’t get those 3am snuggles that even though you are dead tired, you cherish those snuggles with your baby.

Everyone has different strengths and your mind is one of them and maybe even the most important. Think of the positives in your life when you find yourself jealous of a positive in someone else’s life. The uniqueness that makes you, you.

I am just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to comparing myself to others, it’s a habit that sure is hard to break.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself or being jealous, I am going to try to better the areas in my life that have me feeling that way.

So next time you see those flawless Instagram pics, give yourself a break and remember what you bring to the table.

Don’t be so quick to compare and know that you are enough.

You are valued, and you are just as worthy!

37 thoughts on “Why Are We So Quick To Compare Ourselves To Others?

  1. So true! I love how you point out that the moms who have babies sleep all night miss out on the 3am snuggles. My daughter just asked me this weekend what I miss most about having my kids as babies, and I said rocking them and feeding them in the middle of the night. It was exhausting but the deep love makes it all worth it.

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  2. This is a good reminder that we’re all uniquely made and should be thankful for who we are. I try not to take social media seriously because like you stated, it’s not a true picture of people’s real lives. I take social media breaks and delete my apps occasionally to make sure I focus time of myself and not others.

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  3. This is absolutely glorious! Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for writing this. I think there are so many people that need to hear it, we all do from time to time. If we can learn to celebrate others in the understanding that what they are showing are their successes and in the knowing that there is so much going on with each of it both good and bad we will all feel much more content. Thanks again – this is authentic, needed and beautiful xx

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  4. Thank you thank you thank you. I needed this today. Just yesterday I was lamenting to my boyfriend of all the people I was comparing myself to. He said, “I want the old Carista back. None of this is true.” But I need constant reminders. It’s so good to remember that Instagram is a highlight reel and everything we wish we had means that we would miss out on something we already have. Thank you.

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    1. Been there and done that many times to my husband! You are defiantly not alone in comparing yourself others! It’s so hard not to but we need to remember the amazing qualities we have too!! Most of the ones we compare ourselves to only show their best side! Thank you so much for reading and I am so happy I could help!

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  5. Great post and to answer your question/blog title, “I’m not really sure.” I found that social media is a huge, huge trigger for comparison, so I don’t participate much on social media now and just mind my own business. It’s not always possible to avoid triggers because you may bump into someone at the shops and you inadvertently compare lives and whatnot. But when I get home, I often remind myself that the only person I should compare with is me.

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    1. Such an honest answer! I’ve been trying to take social media breaks as much as I can lately and it’s helping with not comparing as much but you are so right. Thank you so much for reading 🙂

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  6. I love it because I feel it. I know exactly what you mean. If only we used our social platforms to spread the messy, unattractive truth and not the glamourised, filtered us that we wish we could be 24/7 xx

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  7. Love this! Though, I must say, I’m with you in terms of scrolling through IG and being like, SERIOUSLY HOW IS SHE SO GLAMOROUS?! I don’t ever try for my pics though lol if that makes sense. My hair is in a bun 24/7 and my kids ask me if something’s wrong if my hair’s down or if I put on jeans instead of sweatpants LOL. I don’t see the point in trying to look good for anyone but me. 😉 Great post girl!

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  8. So true that we are way too quick to compare ourselves to others. I struggle with that a lot. It’s hard not to compare myself to other bloggers. Thanks so much for the reminder and affirmation.

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  9. I wrote a similar post to this a while back, and I’m so glad that somebody else has done it too. I think we all compare ourselves at some point, but as you said the important thing to remember is what we bring to the table, and what we’re good at. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and we never truly know what’s going on in someone else’s life.

    ‘You are enough’ is something that we should all say to ourselves every now and then.

    Lovely post 💜

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